Fictional people I have crushes on

After new friends get to know me, one question is inevitable. “What kind of girls do you like?” I think I always get this question because I’m not very vocal about who I’m attracted to. I don’t wolf whistle or stare or proclaim “dayumn” every time someone I like walks by. Recently I was asked if I was gay by one of my new melbourne friends. The truth is I’m kind of shy and clueless when it comes to this stuff. I can’t flirt and I don’t even realise when someone is trying do so with me.

Anyway as a public service to clear up any confusion, here is a list of people I am attracted to. The catch? They are all fictional people from TV shows.

Liz Lemon

Liz Lemon


Liz Lemon runs her own Saturday Night Live style comedy show in 30 Rock. She’s quick, she’s funny, she’s in control. She also drops star wars references as often as she drops food on her top when eating. My kind of girl.

Daria Morgendorfer

Daria Morgendorfer


Sure, she’s animated, but Daria’s got attitude. Surly, with a razor sharp wit, so sarcastic it borders on recursive sarcasm. Of course all this spikyness sits on top of a vulnerable squishy interior that’s too adorable to ignore. Daria had the greatest one liners ever. Thanks to her, I am disappointed every time I go to a job interview and they don’t ask me what my greatest weakness is.

Jane Lane

Jane Lane


Because if Tom could go out with both Daria and Jane, why can’t I? Oh that’s right, they are animated sprites that don’t actually exist. Anyway… whereas Daria is a intellectual nerd, Jane is an arty, creative nerd.

Samantha Carter

Samantha Carter


Samantha Carter from Stargate is an astro-physics genius. She also rides a motorbike and knows how to handle a P90 sub machine gun when the aliens are trying to kill her. Need I say more?

Codex

Codex


Okay, I’m going to be honest here, it’s really more of a crush on the actress, Felicia Day, rather than the character, Codex, she plays in The Guild. But come on, what nerd doesn’t have a crush on Felicia Day? She’s a gamer (with her own internet sitcom about gaming addiction), she was on Buffy, and she has a double degree in Mathematics and Violin Performance. Daayyyyumn.

Seven of Nine

Seven of Nine


Okay sure, adding Seven to the cast of Star Trek Voyager clad in a skin tight corset and cat suit was a shameless grab for male viewership. It worked. But in an otherwise feminist positive show, with a strong female starship captain, the objectification of seven was a little jarring. It was a credit to the actress that she managed to get past the suit and portray a great character coming to terms with what it means to be human. Being an ex-borg, seven had a bit of a gruff exterior, didn’t take any bullshit, but underneath it was still the vulnerable little girl she was before she was abducted. Are we sensing a pattern here?

Willow Rosenberg

Willow Rosenberg


Buffy’s best friend Willow was the nerdy girl in the show who went on to become a confident, powerful witch with more demon ass-kicking ability than the vampire slayer herself.

Tara

Tara


Tara was Willow’s girlfriend on Buffy. Her shyness was so adorable you just wanted to hug her. And then have sex with her.

Faith

Faith


Again from Buffy the Vamp Slayer, Faith was the bad girl. So bad it that was good. Soooo good.

Hopefully that clears things up and wasn’t too creepy. Perhaps you could join in the weirdness by mentioning any fictional people you would “do” in the comments? No?

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Fictional people I have crushes on

  1. “Her shyness was so adorable you just wanted to hug her. And then have sex with her.”

    24K G.O.L.D.

    You’re not lacking in the one-liners yourself, my friend.
    May I suggest Mystique from the X Men movies? She’s like a blue Napolean Dynamite: hacking skills, nunchuck skills, helicopter skills ….

  2. Daria and Jane are underage! But wise beyond their years.
    Seven? Cmon. Everyone knows Kes has the goddam sexiest voice on the planet.
    But my biggest character crush was Scully. My dreams were shattered forever when, on Letterman, i finally saw how retarded Gillian Anderson was.
    Then shattered again when i found out she did a soft porn film before getting famous.
    And again when i watched it.

  3. umm.. Well Dan you always watched shows that had very attractive and intelligent women on it !!! I know…. I use to share a flat with you!! There is a lady friend out there.. and maybe the move will be the best thing for you… but in the mean time.. you certainly have set a high standard for yourself… as I scrolled through all the women you have a crush on… I thought to myself… Geez its lucky my wife is in bed because if she saw me scrolling though this list of what I thought ” Beautiful Women” I would be in trouble….Ok here is my top 5…. ok 10… umm lets just start ….
    1.. My Wife…( oh dear I can hear everyone now saying what a sorry sap)
    2.. oh dear I’m Stuck on 1 …. ummmm
    3… Ok the girl that use to be on Knight Rider…. ( In case you dont know – each episode had a different ” Lady” ) Got to love the Hoff
    4… every man should go and see GI Joe..why …put it this way – Not for the Story!!!
    5 .. Charliz Theron/Jeniffer love myself hewitt/Scarlett/Kate beckinsale
    6…. liz hurley
    7… Princess Leia (ok she should be in #3 )
    8… and this is out of left field.. Bravehearts First Wife…. Ok I have put myself out there for plenty of Scrutiny… Dan you have good taste!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s