I unbuttoned my fly, took out my penis, and was greeted with rapturous applause. True story.
Perhaps a little context is needed? This happened a few months ago while Stef and I were attending a chamber music concert. The concert was about to start, but I had to go, so I dashed to the dunny (incidentally, Elizabeth Murdoch Hall has some fancy dunnies). I stepped up to the urinal to do my business when the applause started through the speakers. I knew it wasn’t for me, but for a split second it sure felt good.
In actuality the applause wasn’t from the concert at all, it was pre-canned applause to make toilet goers think the concert had started so they would hurry up. Clever social engineering eh?